8 ways to get through the holiday season

For most people, Christmas, New Year’s, and the holiday/end of year season is a beautiful and lively time where they can come together with people they love, take a holiday away, or just to rest. But for some, this isn’t the experience they will be having. For some during this time, the social expectations of connection, family, friends and events are either hard to deal with, or they may not have any people to enjoy these things with.

The end of year period can be a rough one for so many. As a time of slowing down, rest, reflection, and thinking of the year ahead, there can be a sense of loneliness, disconnection or even existential/life purpose dread. For many of the clients I’ve counselled over the years it’s also a deeply overwhelming time, moving from house to house, event to event, shopping centre to shopping centre, and having to squeeze everything all in at once.

I often wonder if there was a time when things were less hectic, less overwhelming, and less challenging. I’m sure there was at some point, but in this modern age we can miss that.

So I’m writing this blog, and hopefully anyone who reads it can take some solace in the knowledge that they’re not alone, and if recent events happening in the world, and indeed even more recently here in Australia have shown us, it should be a time of caring, support, compassion and connection. Whether it’s to others, or even to just yourself, I encourage you to really reflect on the year that was, the hardships you’ve overcome, the challenges you’ve risen to, that you’ve made it through, and endeavour to give yourself a slice of compassion and gratitude for the ways you’ve pushed through and the blessings you do have.

For those needing some additional support, here are 8 ways to consider using this end of year/holiday season:

1. Boundaries: An easy word to throw out, but harder to implement. Boundaries do not have to be about hurting others, or restricting yourself. It can be as simple as saying, ‘today I won’t be answering the phone until I’ve rested’, or ‘I don’t think I’ll go to that party, I just don’t have it in me today and they’ll need to understand that’. Re-affirm your needs, listen to your body, and do what you know is actually right for you.
   

2. Schedule a ‘Blank Space’: Ensure that there are times during this part of the year and early next year where you have blocked out your schedule, have nothing planned, no chores, no commitments. Give yourself actual space to just breathe, slump, sleep, go out by yourself, and just truly follow yourself. For so many this is unnatural in their life. I encourage you to just give it a try and really let your mind and nervous system come down from the stress of the year.
   

3. Have a social ‘Exit Plan’: Our social battery is already low by this time of the year. So actively have in your mind a kind way or excuse to leave an engagement, or even a pre-set amount of time that you’ve communicated. This gives you the ability to ensure you can go when you’re ready, and you’ve let others know you won’t be around all day.

4. Explore: For some without lots of people around who may be feeling isolated, get out of the house. Even for a walk, a coffee, a drive, or even to a free local event. As humans we need human connection, and the moment this is restricted it can bring on sadness. Allow yourself to at the very least go out and explore, have a mini-adventure, or even take advantage of things that are happening in your city whether free or paid.
   

5. Reach out for help: If your mental wellbeing is suffering, as I said, please remember you wouldn’t be the only one. Text or call a friend or acquaintance who may also be having a low key or isolating time. You’re not a burden or disrupting anyone. You’re just reaching out to say hello, to grab a drink or coffee, or at the very least will get the chance to engage with someone.
   For others who are in crisis or overwhelm, here is a great list of curated mental health helplines to get some support: https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/mental-health-helplines

6. Figure out what Festive means for you: Is this a time for partying, friends, rest, grounding yourself, family dinners, just being digitally connected, going out and doing something? Really sit with what it is that you may be missing based on your values around this time of year. If you’re lonely, angry, sad, exhausted, or frustrated, remember that these are general feelings, but what is under them? What are the root causes? Once you have a clearer idea of what you’re craving deep down, then make a small step towards it if you can. If you need help, touch base with someone somewhere to use as a sounding board.
   

7. Practice relaxation, grounding and regulation: you’re overwhelmed, stressed, exhausted, being pulled into every direction. Take. Time. To. Ground. Yourself.
   So many clients are astonished that even just a cup of coffee on their balcony just to put things aside, drink, stop, and quieten can be so healing. In our world, we forget something like this. We all need time to just be.
   

8. Routine: For a lot of people, having no routine can be disorienting and challenging. Suddenly with a few days or weeks without a goal, purpose, job, to-do list, appointments and pressures, a person can feel unsure about what to do with their time. Well, if you’re unable to do your regular things, and perhaps you have a block around doing leisurely or self-care things outright, then what about a routine that can keep you going. Sticking to a morning get up, a walk, yoga, going to the gym, journalling, your daily calls to the family, whatever has kept you going in the year so far, keep it. It’ll help ground you into some sense of knowing what the day ahead can look like, with LOTS of extra space in between to tend to any emotion or desire that comes up.

I hope this list has helped you somewhat. And I hope all who read this find a sense of peace, calm, or rest somewhere, even for one day. Here at Inner Alchemy, I’m back on deck with clients starting the 3rd of January, so if you need someone to bounce ideas off, get support, or process the year that was, feel free to reach out and book an appointment for the New Year.

Ashley x